If you have read any of my other works, especially the article I did a little while back, you could tell that I love the works of 80’s action stars, including Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone.  But, my favorite star of the action genre has got to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, with his charming nature and catchy one-liners.  He seems like a good guy, and his fun nature makes the movies that he’s in, even if they aren’t that good.  His charm carries certain films, but apparently, he was a bit short on it when this movie came around.

Jingle All the Way is a Schwarzenegger Christmas movie, without the charm of the main lead leading the way, like it usually does.  The film follows Arnold’s character Howard, who is attempting to get the newest toy, a Turbo Man, for his young and neglected-feeling son.  Unfortunately, it is the day before Christmas, and there are hordes of people who are trying to get it as sell, including a man named Myron (played by Sinbad).  He’s got to get the toy, anyway he can, and try to make his sons Christmas in the most commercial way he can.

Where do I begin with my issues?  Let’s start with the acting, which is pitiful.  Arnold and Sinbad are given nothing to work with, in terms of any kind of good script, and are forced to try to fend for themselves.  There are no comedians on this planet who can work on a film without a funny script, especially not the likes of an action star and a comedian who isn’t that funny to begin with.  Arnold’s son, played by Jake Lloyd, showcases the bad acting that we have come to recognize from the Star Wars prequels, and the nagging wife (Rita Wilson) is not much better.  The story is bland, without any kind of comedic weight behind it.  You watch Schwarzenegger struggle with Sinbad and some other shoppers, but that is it.  Not much to work off of.

But, what really makes this movie worthless, especially as a Christmas movie, is the message given by the plot, and how Arnold “fixes” his problem.  Arnold has been busy at work, neglecting his child and wife in order to keep his family going.  This is fine; it happens, and a lot of films have good resolutions to this problem.  What does the movie do to fix this?  He buys his kid a popular toy.  Does he spend time with his kid around Christmas?  No, he spends the entirety of the few days before hand trying to get a toy, which gives his neighbor (Phil Hartmen) ample time to make moves on his wife.  Arnold is mad about this, but he doesn’t do anything about it, and continues to try to fix the problem through commercialism and materialism.  It is a terrible message, and he opposite of what Christmas is supposed to teach.  Avoid this movie, at all costs.