Stanley Kubrick-  2001: A Space Odyssey

Now, I have already explained in a previous article that I don’t enjoy this film, which is very contrary to the belief of most other people.  This movie is held in high regard, as one of Kubrick’s great films.  But, I really don’t think it measures up to some of his other works.  Indeed, movies like A Clockwork Orange and The Shining are slow, allowing you to soak up the atmosphere and generate a feeling toward the characters.  However, 2001 is mind-numbing in its slow pace, and has not real development of any of its characters.  There are two important characters: Dave and HAL.  HAL, being an artificial intelligence machine, displays no emotion, and brings the only interesting idea that the film has.  Dave, the human running the mission, is extremely dull, and displays no emotion, even after his entire crew are killed and he abandoned in space.  Thus, the movie attempts to dazzle with special effects and symbolism, which have grown outdated since the movie’s original release in 1968.  The film hasn’t aged well, and I truly feel that its influence has been overshadowed by later Kubrick films.

Stephan Spielberg-  Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom/ Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Stephan Spielberg has created some of the most recognizable and classic films ever made: E.T., Jurassic Park, Jaws, Saving Private Ryan, and the Indiana Jones series.  Of these films, Indiana Jones has always been my favorite, with the third film (Last Crusade) being one of my favorite movies of all time.  And, while the first in the series is almost as good as the spectacular third, the second and fourth films fall far short of the mark.  When it comes to the two, both are bad in fairly different ways.  While Temple of Doom is annoying, with its two comic relief characters Willie and Short Round, Crystal Skull is dull and drags on forever.  Temple of Doom attempts to push the boundaries of the PG film with its ramped up violence, but that doesn’t excuse the comic relief, which is either poorly written or, in Short Round’s case, more stereotypical than it is funny.  But Crystal Skull goes more toward the route of trying to reinvigorate a dying franchise, with dull and lifelessly acted new characters, and an infinitely less intriguing plot.  Unfortunately, Crystal Skull seems to have been the nail in the coffin for a franchise with many new avenues to explore.

Quentin Tarantino-  Death Proof

Though he is one of my favorite directors of modern film history, and I tried as hard as I could to love Grindhouse (his collaboration with Robert Rodriguez, which was split into two segments), I just couldn’t get into it.  These two directors walk the fine line between homage and corniness, and I usually feel that Tarantino knocks it out of the park.  His film are perfectly stylistic, with the best dialogue and most enthralling conversations of any film, making long segments of only talking as entertaining as the action.  The tension that he creates in intense scenes, like the bar scene in Inglorious Bastards or the scenes in Django with the two heroes in disguise, the likes of which I had never seen in a film before.  However, in Death Proof (Tarantino’s segment of Grindhouse), the dialogue feels rigid and lifeless.  The entire segment is build up, in which (SPOILERS) we know that Kurt Russell is trying to lure helpless bar girls into a deadly trap, using his “death proof” car to do his murders.  Thus, we expect the dialogue to be tense and sinister, when it comes out flat and dull.  Then, when another group of girls almost falls victim to Russell, but has the strength to fight back, we are left unimpressed by annoying protagonists, whom we would rather see Russell kill.  But Russell, who could have been the like-able villain that Tarantino excels at creating, is dull, thus giving the audience nothing to hold on to.  It is a dreary experience, and will be a true let down for fans of Tarantino’s far superior films.

Robert Rodriguez-  All his kids movies

While his recent work has begun to pale in comparison to his action movies of the past, those great few films he created are really something.  Sin City and El Mariachi are great action films, and there are more of his that fit the genre well.  But, he seems to think that just doing actions movies isn’t enough, and has ventured into making six children’s films.  What a poor idea that has been.  While Martin Scorsese’s venture into children’s films was wonderful, with the excellent movie Hugo, Rodriguez’s have all been a horrifying mess.  The Spy Kids movies, Sharkboy and Lavagirl, and Shorts, are all the kind of kid’s movies that I hate, as they talk down to kids instead of treating them like people.  The comedy is horrendous, consisting almost entirely of puns, poop jokes, and the spectacle of odd visuals.  The problem with the visuals, though they are sometimes creative, is that they serve no true purpose, and are just there to distract from the story.  The Spy Kids films all have the same basic story, where the children fight off a villain who isn’t really evil, so there isn’t any true challenge to overcome.  And, while some of the casting in these movies is awesome, all of the actors leave there talent behind, and fall back on the adage of not trying, simply because it is for kids.  And that’s not how a children’s film should work; they should try even harder to bring a good message across, rather than drop it entirely.  So, Robert Rodriguez, until you put as much, if not more, effort into your family films as you do your action movies, they will continue to fail as crowd pleasers.